Revising complaint letter to awful children's dentist...replacing "half-assed" with "insincere" and "piss-poor" with "unacceptable".
Peered at bathtub turd like a medium reading tea leaves for several seconds before realizing I didn't actually want to know whose it was that badly.
Purchasing an ark's worth of Schleich animals to bribe Ingrid to poop on the potty.
Also, a case of size six diapers.
Ingrid's first really good poem:
Corn, corn, what do you say?
I put a spoon on my tray!
One day I will look back with nostalgia at my evening routine of rinsing the sand out of my lilypadz.