But then...

...I actually am kind of excited. We met with our doula, and the concreteness of talking about plans for the birth reminded me that we’re really going to be meeting a new little human being. And that little person will have really soft skin and tiny fingers and those silly newborn facial expressions and, in all likelihood, gods willing, will spent its first few days zonked out in milk-drunk bliss in our arms. That I can get excited about.

Also, we are closing in on good names. We’ve had a short list for each sex for months now, but I’m starting to be able to imagine us actually agreeing on one of each kind.

There are issues with the names: Many of the ones we like have Scandinavian origins, yet we have the feeling if we go too Swedish with this one we’ll end up looking like we’re running a little Scandinavian farm. (And that’s not even my background!) The girl name we both are most drawn to is possibly too uncommon to be bearable with our somewhat difficult last name. And our favorite boy name is unfortunately also the name of our neighbors’ often loudly reprimanded weiner dog. But still, we’re figuring it out. I think we have three good ones of each kind now, and maybe we’ll have to wait and meet this baby before choosing one.

Still, there are a zillion things to be done before the babe arrives.

Many of them, I am realizing as I think about the possibility of a somewhat early arrival, are actually not so necessary. The scuzziness of the inside of the fridge, the organizational status of Ingrid’s outgrown clothes, the drifts of stale rice cake crumbs and (yes) petrified rounds of string cheese on the floor of our car...these things will not have direct bearing on the health and happiness of a newborn.

Other items on the to do list are actually kind of important. It is pretty important that I finish these projects at work. It’s also pretty important that I sit and think about what’s about to happen and write rambling paragraphs about it. Those are my two top priorities, really. Not necessarily in that order. (The file I need to be working on is open. That counts, right?)

This weekend, A is taking Ingrid to Grandma’s house, leaving me here for my first night alone since she was born and close to two whole uninterrupted days to tackle some of this stuff. I think I am now comfortable amending my wish for four more weeks of pregnancy to a hope that the baby stays in through the weekend. After that, I’m all set.